A year or so ago a friend who’d
noticed how much weight I’d lost asked me how I did it. I told her, “Very Low
Carb.” Like virtually everyone, she admitted she didn’t have a clue about the
fine points of what a carbohydrate is and asked for a little guidance. Totally
unaware of how much travail it would cause us both, I unwittingly jumped at the
opportunity to mentor her…and we succeeded.
I saw her at a garden party last
summer. When she asked if I had noticed how much weight she’d lost, I replied,
“No, but I noticed how good you look
in that dress.” She smiled. “I’ve lost 26 pounds, 1 dress size,” she said.
“It’s a size 10.” “I would like to lose another couple of pounds,” she
continued, “so a fitted dress would be a little more comfortable through the
waist. I’m not shooting for a size 8”
though,” she chuckled…which brings me to the subject of this post: MODERATION.
I hate the concept of
moderation. Too often it is used as an excuse by those who reject a more
radical lifestyle change. “Moderation” is an ideology in itself, but it’s often
used as a response to importunate demands for radical change. Just because I
lost over 180 pounds and kept most of it off is no reason to think that is the only way to lose weight. This is also
true if 1) you don’t need to or want to lose so much weight and 2) you are cut
from a “different cloth,” as my friend and perhaps the majority of the
overweight people in this nation are.
My friend taught me this lesson.
She of course is happy that she lost 26 pounds. She would be happier still if
she lost another 6 or 7, which she now
knows how to do. In her case, 26 pounds was over 20% of her starting
weight, so that IS a singular achievement. Another 6 or 7 pounds would
be 5% more of her current weight!
Why the opportunity to mentor my
friend was so vexatious is that, to adopt a MODERATE approach to eating LOW
CARB (rather than the extreme approach
of VERY LOW CARB that I used), required a
lot of education and a lot of
negotiation. My friend leads a very intense, edgy lifestyle, constantly
creating lots of “on the edge” situations as part of her work as a novelist. As
a result, she’s inured to living somewhat “on the edge” herself.
A lifestyle that is fraught with
anxiety and risk-taking is bound to be a strain on one’s psyche. For balance,
such a lifestyle likewise requires rational thinking and counter measures to
deal with the day-to-day exigencies. And to deal with this lifestyle, eating
becomes both a driver and a crutch. Comfort food is an integral part of her lifestyle, and snacks are an
integral part of her eating pattern.
Therein lay the challenge.
Snacking is antithetical to a
sound Low Carb Eating Plan, but giving snacks up was off the table – not
negotiable! It was integral to her modus operendi. Therefore, all that
remained was the Low Carb part. Beyond that, the education was pretty simple:
She told me what she ate, and I gave her a basic education about which things
she ate were the bad choices: both the “complex” carb type and the simple
sugars. And that was it!
I’ve always scoffed at the
concept of negotiating with a patient as the ADA’s clinical practice guidelines
counsel. But in this case, I learned first-hand with my “patient” – with snacking being a part of her working lifestyle,
which I totally understood and had to accept – a workaround would be necessary.
And it was.
It took dozens of emails over several weeks, including countless
recitations of the same
principles to refute the same
“scientific” articles she sent me which advocated for another Way of
Eating or against the Low Carb
way. But eventually we modified her “Eating Plan” sufficiently to where she
started to see a difference on the scale.
The back and forth ended one day when I gave up
on repeatedly defending the science
of Low Carb eating. We didn’t “talk” for months afterwards, so I was delighted
when we met at the garden party and she asked me if I had noticed her weight
loss. That’s when I said, “No, but I did notice how good you look in that dress.” I think we both felt pretty good
about that. I think her doctor did too. Of course, I would like to see her go for that size 8 dress. She knows how now
and could get there by simply going back and doing “more of the same.”
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